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October 26, 2004
about that date from a few days ago..
it went well.
and then we had a second date. and a third date.
and survived a viewing of team america - we both laughed so hard our sides were fit to bust. (yes, I did just say that very silly silly thing. fit to bust. curse you for invading my vocabulary with silly silly phrases like "fit to bust")
the fourth date was the kicker. damn, that man is funny and smart and fast and tall and gorgeous. I'm only human, I was teetering before, but I totally fell into a puddle of smit on that date.
And the fact that every single place we went to played "Let's Get It On" was, like, well, a sign from the gods or whatever.
Man, I really, really, really don't want to fuck this one up.
and that wish, to not fuck this one up, has gotten me through the fifth and sixth dates, it seems...but I'm just wondering, well, where I want things to go from here.
I never got the pamphlet on when it's not creepy to do the whole "what's going on here...are we dating, are we just having fun, should I put the heart out there or should I keep it in the vault where I usually put it" conversation...I have been sitting here, IMing and e-mailing with friends to re-hash the phone calls and the IMs and text messages and, yes, the dates, in detail...and what I came up with is : we've been having this conversation all along.
oh, it's nothing like in a sitcom or romantic comedy/drama, where the couple sits down on a park bench in manhattan on a fall day, cups of coffee in hand and earnest looks on their faces, to have a conversation that starts with the thesis statement: "where are we going with our relationship?"
no. I try to be that kind of linearly defined conversation-having person but, try as I might, I'm totally not that person.
I'm becoming the kind of person:
- who, while realizing that pinning the conversation down to a specific "what are we doing here?" will, in effect, kill the conversation, chooses instead to enjoy letting the conversation meander around the whole dating question.
- who totally realizes that the butterfly analogy is total giddy-girlishness and should probably be edited out instead of being left in the raw on he website.
- who swoons when he asks me to join him on an upcoming trip to italy and raves about city living and tells that amusing story about hating hiking but remembering how we walked two hours out of our way to find just the right costume for halloween.
- who sheepishly reveals the "looking for love online and ending up with 100 dates in 30 days" story to delightedly hear his amazingly similar "looking for love online and ending up with one date a week for a full year" story.
and I've realized, I don't really care where we're going. or what we're doing here. I just want to enjoy this. I'm thoroughly enjoying it, so far, and we're totally getting along, better than I thought it could go.
so anyway. I'm just sitting back and enjoying being one half of a gorgeous, tall, whip-smart witty couple-about-town.
oh, did I mention his six pack? and that when he moves it's like steel anacondas writhing for position under his smooth, smooth skin? cause I meant to mention that.
Posted by Heather at October 26, 2004 04:49 PM
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