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October 07, 2003
In which the author wonders: "do opposites attract?"
it's pretty easy to figure out when it's over, but how do you know what to do when things are going BRILLIANTLY, when you're so head over heels you can't stand to talk about it - but one lonely night, when you're too exhausted to even sleep properly, you start wondering:
"what do we have in common?"
I've since realized that this is a question you should never ponder alone.
I made one of my famous lists. Starting with our mutual urge to read everything we can get our hands on and ending with our love for museums and how we like to go through them exactly the same way, reading all of those little signposty things that the curators go through so much trouble to write and design and put up next to everything.
that wasn't so bad. there were a whole bunch of things to hang one's heart on, but I then started wondering, as would be perfectly normal to wonder:
"what do we not have in common?"
that list was longer.
thank god for sleep, because I would have worked myself into a frenzy over the disparity in list size.
and my old self would have picked up where she left off - my old self would have worried herself to bits over what she and her fella had in common - trying to figure out what was more important from each list and if arts and the urge to travel could outweigh sports and job uncertainty. if a love of morgan freeman was more or less important than a deep appreciation of bananas.
my new self, however. is far more wise in the ways of the world. wise enough to bring it up when next she saw the fella.
he turned it into a game. and his lighthearted playfulness plumb smacked that uncertainty and disparity and frenzy right out of her mind. If relationships were all about what you had in common, no one would ever be able to say "opposites attract", would they?
do they even say "opposites attract" now, anyway?
Posted by Heather at October 7, 2003 02:55 PM
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Comments
I think the most important things to have in compliment/common are how you treat others, and how you expect to be treated. It also helps to be roughly the same amount of neurotic. Without trying to sound overly zen, I think most everything else works itself out after the above are satisfied.
I certainly hope so, at least. Or it's going to be a long life . . . =)
Posted by: acr at October 13, 2003 11:57 AM
works for magents, works for me.
Posted by: jocelyn at October 14, 2003 10:01 AM
I've been delightedly discovering how much neurotic we have in common, actually. you're right, that and how we treat people are the only potential constants, aren't they?
anecdote:
he made me watch women's soccer.
it was more boring than a brunette trixie's sex life, but what made it worth it is seeing him in his element, and sharing afterwards how just being in each other's 'element' and watching the joy is really, really rewarding.
hell, he had dinner with me and my moviestar friends, during which there were no fewer than 35 minutes of STAR TREK conversation. and yes, I participated. hell, I held court on Enterprise. and even though he won't admit to being bored, I think we're able to agree that his soccer match is my movie dinner party.
we may be coming from opposite sides of the spectrum, but we're also evolved enough to like giving as much as we're taking...hmm....it's a whole new give-and-take relationship, and I think I like it.
Posted by: heather at October 14, 2003 08:17 PM