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August 10, 2003
Not the title I was planning for today, but I'll get to that one soon enough....
it's that time, now.
that time in fresh and new 'special friendships' where you sparkle in each other's presence, your cheeks hurt from smiling, you plan your date outfits carefully, lest you extend the date from
"one lovely evening"
to
an evening-which-becomes
"a late night"
which becomes
"an early morning"
which becomes
"brunch and shopping for new glasses and jaunty trousers."
in which case, you need to look lovely but not just 'evening lovely' but 'all around the clock' lovely, lest people say you're in love.
which may be the case, but we all know we don't have to be slutty about it...
it's that time in the friendship where you've hinted around and finally confessed your true feelings, but you haven't yet negotiated the terms of the friendship.
everyone who sees you together knows you're not exactly 'just friends'....but would it be too soon, even unseemly to call each other gentleman/ladyfriend at this point?
and yes, I know we've all told the heather to plump up the balls and say what she feels, but isn't there a waiting period between
"I'm so smitten with you I'll afraid I'll drown in a puddle of smit"
and
"so, where are we going with this relationship?"
and
"is it okay if we date other people...together...or is this going to be a monogamous dealio?..before you decide, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Carson. He's been dying to meet you."
and
"If I meet your mama, does that mean I can't play the dozens?"
a waiting period known as 'romantic dating period' where you can be full of smit without any obligations other than responsible fluid exchange behavior and making sure to switch off who gets to pick the next movie.
although arguing over whether spellbound counts, 'cause I dragged my feet on that choice, and if seabiscuit counts, 'cause he dragged his...that's not arguing, it's that horrific couple-type behavior that I dearly hope no one within a three mile radius heard us engage in, for fear of mass vomit attacks at the schmoopyness of it all...
oh yes, and I'm wondering when I can have my cynicism and pessimism and general sense of ill-being back. this optimism, crazy-in-love-mooning, this 'cries in movies because she can suspend her disbelief and really care about the characters" thing has just got to stop before he thinks that's who I really am....
although I think sometimes, when I'm feeling bravest, perhaps I can still weep in movies without being 'ms optimism midwest"
hell, last time I fell in love, I told me3dia I had met the man I was going to marry. I was wrong, of corpse, but I guess I was optimistic then, optimistic enough to say silly romantic things out loud in public and not die of embarrassment. And I can still be optimistic now, even after everything that has happened since. That's a good thing, right? not a stupid 'doesn't see the next one coming' thing?
right?
not to totally tangent on ya, but I was just thinking, No One Ever tells me the stories where they thought "that's the man who will father my children' or "that's the woman I'm going to marry" in which they were wrong. what is up with that? Are we all just too afraid to be wrong a couple of times before we're right, or is it that when that thing happens, even if you've thought it before, you finally realize that this thing is different than all the times that happened previous to this one 'right' time?
Posted by Heather at August 10, 2003 12:59 AM
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Comments
You're so full of smit.
;)
The reason that no one mentions the times they were wrong is because no one likes to admit they were wrong. And because it invites the question,"If you were wrong about that one, how do you know *this* one is The One?"
Posted by: Andrew at August 10, 2003 09:22 PM
Drown in a puddle of smit - that was great. What about a puddle of smut?
I totally admit to having met the One about oh, 15 times or so. It helps to take none of it too seriously.
Posted by: Glovia at August 11, 2003 11:31 AM
I was wrong and everytime someone asks me why I left San Francisco I tell them straight out: he didn't want to marry me, and he didn't want kids. I was wrong and that was two years ago and I still wonder if I'll meet another someone I think that about.
Posted by: liz at August 18, 2003 03:03 PM