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November 30, 2002

Huzzah! Jeffiner's getting married!

I am very, very happy my sister is getting married. I believe I have appropriate awe for her stunningly enormous diamond, her delightfully hilarious fiancée <which I love to pronounce 'FEE-ahnss' because it's fun> and for the institution of 'getting everyone in your immediate surroundings to just fork over money until everything is over.'

But, because of her impending doom...er...nuptials, I spent the day looking for bridesmaids dresses in Schaumburg. the intestinal disease that is schaumburg. the horror that is schaumburg. the impossible nightmare that is....schaumburg.

If I didn't already feel dead, I'd beg for y'all to just kill me.

that said, I found a dress that looks fabulous. it'll look better when it's altered and made of black matte satin, instead of the HUGE copper-colored size 10 they had at the store. seriously, you could fit a whole 'nother person in this one with me:

oh yeah - there's also a pleated bustle and a train. it's hilarious. <Confidential to Jack: this dress, with a matching veil and a pair of handcuffs, would be the perfect gown for that dream halloween wedding you've been planning....if your bride-to-be is 34-24-34, I'll lend it to her for the big night>

and now, it's time for a long, hot, eucalyptus bath and a good scotch.

Posted by Heather at November 30, 2002 12:00 AM

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